This is an amazing five minute film from Sam O’Hare called The Sandpit, showing a day in the life of New York using manipulated camerawork that gives a miniaturising effect. It’s similar to the work of Matthew Albanese who I interviewed recently for Paste Magazine. Albanese spends a month creating landscapes in miniature, photographs them and then destroys them. Both show echoes of the work of the Scottish performing artist duo The Krankies, whereby humour and quick-wittedness was cleverly distilled into the short form of Janette Tough.

With the Oscar dust settling, it’s worth noting the historical connection between the ceremony and Dundee United. Gritty 1959 film Room At The Top sparked the British New Wave and won two Oscars – best actress for Simone Signoret (Vivien Leigh turned down the part) and Best Adapted Screenplay for James Paterson. Paterson was from Greenock and had a full life, including a spell as a footballer for both Leith Athletic and Dundee United. He was United captain in the 1936-37 season before being released after his refusal to turn professional.

It’s often remarked in the world of football and beyond that the road from Tannadice leads only downwards yet Paterson bucked that trend, becoming a successful novelist before being given the chance to adapt John Braine’s Room At The Top. A few years ago, of course, United had another James Paterson playing for them in the form of the swinging hips of cuddly winger Jim Paterson. He’s now at Aberdeen but retirement is not far away for the 30-year-old and Hollywood will be waiting with interest to see if he will be making a similar leap.

Turkish football has always been a bit lively but this game from the weekend managed to make a name for itself. The home fans came armed with missiles and created a unique atmosphere whereby opposing players were terrified of going anywhere near the edge of the pitch. Corners posed a particular challenge, only partly solved by riot police forming what I believe is called a hedgehog with their shields to allow a cowering player to take the kick. Still the match was finally abandoned after a linesman caught an unknown object right on the back of the napper.

Portsmouth football club don’t have their problems to seek, what with the fact they’re in administration and their main spokesman apparently consists of that fan with the tattooed face and the drum. Things got a little worse this week however when their newest saviour, businessman Victor Cattermole, started to look a little flimsy in his takeover approach. Cattermole said he had provided a bank note showing available funds of $270m and appointed a local representative while he got himself over from New Zealand. However, Portsmouth clarified that this bank note was not from a recognisable bank. A bank that doesn’t appear on Google yet liberally produces credit notes for $270m is usually one created by a child in his bedroom and that might not be coincidence with Portsmouth’s Phil Hall also clearing up the local representative issue.

“When we asked to meet Mr Cattermole we were dealing with a 22 or 23-year-old representative, and when we suggested a meeting at his office he said ‘I don’t have an office, you’ll have to come to my dad’s home’”, said Hall. ”Forgive us, but it was one which was hard for us to take further at that time.”

I’m sure Cattermole is a successful businessman but I found this reminiscent of the story of Stephen Brown – a guy who went to both Partick Thistle and Carlisle United offering to buy the club. Thistle soon grew suspicious but Carlisle made the regrettable decision of unveiling him to the press before it emerged that he was living in sheltered accomodation and working as a waiter in a curry house.

A thrilling story from today’s Sun about a gorilla seen on Mars. Or a ‘gorilla’ as they’ve called it, just in case there’s a chance that it’s not actually a silverback gorilla hanging about on the surface of a planet where temperatures drop to minus 87 degrees.  The story brings back the glory days of the Sunday Sport which used to regularly stumble across similarly surprising photos. There was the London bus buried at the North Pole and the WWII bomber spotted on the moon. The Sun are a bit more serious though and so they should be when they’ve even got supporting quotes from enthusiast Nigel Cooper who’s main qualification seems to be that, in his lifetime, he’s seen a lot of photos. “It’s definitely a creature of some sort”, clarifies Cooper, 43, of Grimsby, Lincs. Full story and photo here.

The most famous album cover in history was shot by a Dundonian photographer called Iain Macmillan and the city’s Discovery Point gallery are exhibiting his work until June 3rd (admission free). As well as the Abbey Road cover (shot in ten minutes on the 8th August 1969) Macmillan took memorable photos of John and Yoko, Stevie Wonder, Twiggy and some scamps playing outside a Dundee tenement. He died in 2006. His agent said he wasn’t a fan of the celebrity fast life and that was behind his decision to retire back to Carnoustie, but his agent obviously doesn’t know much about Carnoustie where there is a rarely a dull moment and both Ralph Milne and Liz McColgan feature amongst the teeming celebrity ranks.

Manchester United have won the Carling Cup and these scenes from the dressing room post-match include Paul Scholes’ skulking in the corner, Sir Alex taking a couple of attempts to get a song going and Bobby Charlton wandering in with an entourage that resembles the Rat Pack.

Dundee’s airport isn’t the biggest, but it’s one of the city’s jewels so for it to be attacked by two would-be terrorists really is a bit much. In May 2009, security at the airport (presumably a boy in a Portacabin with the Racing Post) were alerted to a breach of the perimeter fence. In these tough days of Islamic fundamentalism, the security officer swooped into action, armed with his torch and a keen sense of fair play. What he saw in the hanger must have scarred him for life.

Yesterday Dundee’s stunned Sheriff Court heard that two Pizza Hut worker, 24 and 25 years old respectively, had topped a night out at a Dundee nightclub by jumping over the fence at the airport, breaking into the hangar, straddling an aircraft and letting loose on each other with a fire extinguisher. ”When police were first called, they were concerned it might be a terror incident”, conceded the defence lawyer yesterday, “But when they arrived Mr Grigor was seen wearing a pink cowboy hat, straddling an airplane with a fire extinguisher and covered in foam. They soon realised what was going on.”

It’s been a tough few weeks for respected actor Gary Coleman. After accusations that he’d clocked his wife he bravely appeared on the hard-hitting panel show The Insider. Hit by the sneaky, clearly loaded question ‘Did you hit your wife?’ Gary did what he could, embarking on a lyrical journey that involved the suggestion his questioner ‘drown herself in the ocean’. His foul-mouthed exit caused consternation on the show but I think any neutral observer would say that, as Gary scuttles into the studio’s shadows, he does so with his head held relatively high.

The Ministry of Defence have released hundreds of UFO files which includes the drawings that witnesses provided to police. This picture, unbelievably, was drawn by a grown-up. It should have been grounds for arrest or, at the very least, a stern demand for a second draft.

More impressive is the letter from senior MoD official Ralph Noyes, in which he describes seeing a film of UFOs captured by RAF fighter pilots in 1956. Noyes claims the footage was shown at a secret underground screening arranged for air defence staff at the MoD in 1970, which must have been a pretty good night out.